can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
