I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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