She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
