then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
