Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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