I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
