if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
