GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
