never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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