No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
