i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
