Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
