from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize