smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My sheets look like a crime scene.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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