I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
