I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
