I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
