did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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