I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
