I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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