people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
