sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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