All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
