Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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