is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
