so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
