I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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