he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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