The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
