I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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