His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
