my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
