try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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