I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
