It's Friday. Sex?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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