Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
