I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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