Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
