ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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