i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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