after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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