we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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