did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
