weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
