Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
