I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So much rum. So many feels.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
