i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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