we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
