Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
