Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
