You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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