I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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