she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
