you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
