Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Vodka?
Forever.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize