he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
