First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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