Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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