At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
