As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
