I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize