id be glad to
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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