I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So much Jack, so little girl.
My dick has a subreddit
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
