I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
