I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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